Ah Valentine’s Day! This seems like an appropriate day to write a post about our first date as parents. We just happened to go out yesterday so sort of celebrated V Day early (although we never really bother). Alfie went to my mum’s for the evening and Craig and I went out to dinner. For anyone who lives in Essex, we went to the Duck Inn in Writtle, which was so nice – a real proper country pub with English pub grub (I had a HUGE beef casserole and dumplings, I couldn’t finish it all!) We had a lovely time, but it’s definitely different going out post-baby than it is pre-baby. Here are a few observations I made:
Booking a date
Decide to go on a date. Pick a lovely restaurant and book a table for 7.30pm
Decide you need a date night. Consult with various friends and family who might be able to baby sit. Narrow your options down to one date. Pick a restaurant that you have a voucher for as you have little money so need your date to be as cheap as possible. Book your table for 6pm as Mummy is likely to fall asleep at the table if you’re out past 9pm.
Start to get ready about 3 hours before you need to leave. Have a hot bath with your expensive bubble bath, some candles, a glass of wine and Cosmo mag (maybe you can pick up some tips for later on 😉). When you’ve finished your bath, have a shower. Wash and condition your hair, shave your legs and armpits, scrub your body with a body brush and then exfoliate your face. Spend about an hour in the bathroom.
Once finished, moisturise your whole body, cut and paint your toenails, pluck your eyebrows, trim your fingernails and paint, then fake tan. Stand around while the fake tan dries. Maybe have another glass of wine! Then do your make-up using your special “going out” selection of make-up. Concealer, foundation, eyeshadow, eyeliner (top AND bottom), false eyelashes, bronzer, eyebrow pencil, lipliner, lipstick and lipgloss.
Now dry your long hair. Straighten it and decide if you’re going to wear it up, have it down, have it half up/half down, backcomb it or curl it. Pick an accessory to go in your hair. Put your deodorant on. Choose your outfit. Go for a dress that shows off your lovely cleavage and long legs. Select your sexiest underwear, pick the highest heels you can find and then choose some jewellery to match. Spritz some perfume on and select a clutch bag to match your outfit. Have another glass of wine!
Jump in the shower at 3pm. Quickly wash and condition your hair. Shave your legs and armpits. Get out of shower. Realise you only shaved one leg. Sod it, you’re wearing tights anyway! Cut your toenails – no need to paint; your shoes will cover it. Forgo plucking your eyebrows, you did them a month ago, you’ll get at least another month out of them! Apply make-up – concealer for the bags under your eyes due to lack of sleep, slap on some foundation, slick on a coat of mascara, apply eyeliner and dab some vaseline on your lips. Bath baby – spend 20 minutes splashing in the bath, playing with squirty toys and spelling baby’s name with foam letters on the bath! Let your hair air dry whilst bathing baby. Give baby to dad to get ready for bed. Blast your hair with the hairdryer for 2 minutes to finish drying. Straighten your hair – no need to decide how to wear it as you now have a mum bob, so only one style needed!
Pump some breastmilk to leave with the babysitter to feed baby whilst you’re away. Pack baby’s bag – include nappies, wipes, 2 sets of spare babygros and vests, sterilise and pack bottles of breastmilk, pack calpol, bonjela and teething powder in case baby’s teeth play up. Pick a selection of teething aids and toys to occupy baby. Put his rocking chair and favourite blanket in the hall so you remember to take them.
Get yourself dressed – pick a dress that covers your mum tum and is high neck so your post-pregnancy boobs are covered (because you won’t need to whack them out to feed baby at any point!) Choose your most comfortable underwear! Accessorise with something that’s not a teething necklace and puddle of sick on your shoulder. Choose your highest heels so you feel a little bit dressed up (even though they’re now half a size too small for you, you’ll squeeze your feet in them!)
Wake baby up to feed before you go out. Baby screams because you woke him up. Spend 30 minutes settling baby.
Travelling to the restaurant
Finish your glass of wine and jump in a taxi. Arrive at the restaurant on time
Put baby’s bag, chair and blanket and travel cot in the car. Put screaming baby in the car. Fiddle with car seat straps that have become twisted whilst baby pulls your hair. Leave the house and drive to your mum’s. Turn around and go back because you forgot baby’s milk. Arrive at mum’s house and pass over baby (who has thankfully stopped crying). Try to explain baby’s routine whilst your mum is telling you not to worry and get going. Leave the house and immediately feel guilty because you didn’t kiss baby goodbye. Drive to the restaurant (you can’t afford taxi’s now!!). Call the restaurant and explain you’re going to be 20 minutes late but you are on your way. Arrive at the restaurant.
During your date
Take your time looking over the menu and decide what you’re going to have. Order a (large) glass of wine. Discuss your life plans with your husband, the house you’re going to buy, the amazing places you’ll travel to and the family you’re going to have. Have another glass of wine!
Apologise for arriving late. Scan the menu and pick the healthiest dish you can find (you’ve got to think about that mum tum!) Talk all night with your husband about the baby, including the big poo he did that morning and how grateful you were that he didn’t throw up on you before you left the house. Have a (small) glass of wine (you know you’ll be up in the night and wine makes you sleepy!)
After your date
Go home around 11pm. Have another glass of wine! Enjoy the rest of the evening with your husband.
Pick baby up and get the low down on how he was for your mum (he cried a LOT and didn’t sleep at all!). Pack the car with all the baby stuff. Go home, feed baby and put him to bed. Go to bed yourself – that one glass of wine has gone to your head, and you’ll be up in 3 hours to deal with the baby.
So, date night with a baby was a lot different to date night without a baby! But honestly we had a lovely night out, it’s important to spend some time as a couple, but it’s also lovely to come home to your gorgeous baby.
Happy Valentine’s Day xx