A year ago today was my due date and I miss my bump. Although I love the baby that (eventually) came out of it, I miss having a big old belly growing my little boy.
I didn’t enjoy being pregnant right at the start. I felt soooo tired – everyone warned me about the sickness, and the weight gain, and the sore boobs, but no-one warned of the fatigue I’d feel. I was coming home from work, having a nap, waking up for dinner and then going to bed at 8.30pm most nights early on in my pregnancy. I was lucky that I didn’t get any morning sickness until about 11 weeks, and by that point the tiredness had started to ease, although it kicked in again at about 35 weeks. I found the first 12 weeks the hardest, I think because I couldn’t tell anyone. Only our parents, siblings and a few very close friends knew as we were waiting for our scan before announcing to the world (if you haven’t already, have a read here about our big reveal – it’s quite cool!) I just didn’t feel how I thought I would when I imagined getting pregnant.
I was desperate for my bump to start growing, to the point where I would wear tight clothes and push my stomach out to convince myself there was a bump (I realise now I probably just looked really fat ha!). I think I started showing to myself at about 14/15 weeks, and to others at around 20 weeks. At my 20 week scan I was told that I had an anterior placenta – this just meant that my placenta was at the front of my uterus wall, so it might take longer for me to feel kicks. I think this is another reason why I felt a bit funny about pregnancy – my friends who were pregnant at the same time as me used to tell me about their babies moving, and seeing kicks and bumps against their bellies, but I still hadn’t felt anything more than a flutter (but to be honest, most of the time that was bad wind!!)
But I hit 25 weeks and felt my first proper movements. It was so amazing, and I loved every time he had a wriggle – from the first one I felt, to the last one I felt (well, from what I can remember of that through the constant contractions of our 3 day effort to get him out!) Every time he made a slight movement I would shout to my husband to come and feel my belly – of course, he would then immediately stop moving. Likewise, every time I tried to film him moving he would stop, so I have about 20 hours of film of my still belly….not very exciting! He would always sit on my right side which made my bump look so lopsided most of the time. I found that he’d have a little party at around 11am and 3pm most days (funnily enough the times when I seemed to be eating cake….coincidence?!) and then again at 10pm when I wanted to sleep!
I was lucky that I had quite a neat little bump, but it was very low so I struggled with wearing trousers, shorts or skirts as the band rubbed on my belly. I was loathed to buy maternity clothes because I wouldn’t be in them for long, but I was lucky that my boss gave me a load of quite good quality clothes, so I did have some nice clothes.
One thing I’m so glad I did throughout my pregnancy was religiously take a photo every 4 weeks – it was amazing to see how my belly grew, and how it changed shape.
There are lots of things I do miss about pregnancy now:
- the cups of tea made for me by my husband because I was too
lazy fatheavily pregnant to get off the sofa
- getting out of washing up duty
- not having to change the bed (or do much housework actually)
- eating my bodyweight in cake because I was eating for two
- sitting on the sofa in my underwear because I was so hot and sweaty
- eating ice pops every night because it was the only thing that helped my morning (afternoon, evening and night time) sickness
- wasting hours just sitting and watching my bump wriggle
- the days off work to attend a 15 minute medical appointment
There are also lots of things I don’t miss in the slightest about pregnancy:
- the swollen feet, and eventually legs – by 30 weeks I could only wear one pair of flip flops
- the 4.30am wake ups because I was so uncomfortable (although this has just been replaced with a 1.30am and 3.30am night feed!)
- the stress of finding something that actually fit me every morning and the even bigger stress when I had an event to attend!
- not being able to indulge in a cheeky cider on a hot summer’s evening
I wish I had enjoyed my pregnancy more from the beginning, but I made sure I enjoyed it right up to the end. Once I felt those movements and my bump started to blossom, I didn’t want my pregnancy to end. Even when my due date came and went, I still wasn’t too bothered about going overdue. I had said from day 1 that I was going to be overdue, and I think had I not had suspected pre-eclampsia, I would have gotten to two weeks overdue, and possibly more if I refused induction.
I can’t believe how quickly this year has gone, and how it was a whole year ago I was wondering when my baby would come out and meet us! He made us wait, but he was definitely worth it. Now my ovaries are screaming for us to make a brother or sister to join him, but unfortunately it won’t be happening any time soon for us. For now, I shall just look back and reminisce about my pregnancy with Alfie, and enjoy watching Alfie grow into the amazing young man he is. I know that a second pregnancy won’t be as enjoyable with a toddler to look after, but I am a looking forward to it all the same, whenever it will be 🙂
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